We live in a world where something that isn’t mainstream is often misunderstood. That’s very much the case with swinging, although I'd argue it's far more mainstream than most realize. Because of this misinformation some never end up trying something that may be excellent for their mental health, and their marriage.
Here are some common negative myths about swinging:
Married couples that engage in the lifestyle will end up divorced. This is not true most of the time. Divorce rates amongst those who swing are lower than those who are in monogamous relationships. Couples in the lifestyle tend to communicate better than those who aren’t. This ultimately equals a happier marriage.
Couples who swing must be morally corrupt. Considering that navigating within the lifestyle takes a large willingness to accept others as they are, research has proven swingers to be less judgmental, less racist, and less sexist. It’s also shown that many couples also attend church on a regular basis, and few have criminal records.
The very act of swinging is a signal that cheating is acceptable. The opposite is true. An important part of the lifestyle is that couples agree on clear concise rules which govern their extracurricular activities. These rules sometimes change over time, but only after discussion between the couple. It’s only if these rules are broken, that a person could be cheating. Instead, they are simply adults doing what they’re allowed to do within the grounds of the relationship.
Only couples that are unhappy in their marriage would consider swinging. This couldn’t be further from the truth. You’ll find that couples in the lifestyle tend to be happier with their spouses than their monogamous counterparts.
- Most couples who swing do it because they are sex addicts. While it may be true that in some cases one of the partners could be a sex addict, that’s not the case the majority of the time.
To be clear, swinging isn’t a great idea for all couples. But those already on rock-solid ground could have much to gain. For those that aren’t, it could very well be disastrous. The lifestyle should never be used as an attempt to make a failing marriage work. In that case it will expose even the slightest cracks.
The lifestyle should enhance your relationship, not detract from it. Many who swing report an increase in overall happiness and with their partner. It requires an immense amount of trust and constant communication. Imagine a life where you can be 100% real with your partner about your deepest desires with zero fear of judgement. When that happens, there’s nothing you can’t accomplish together. Is it easy? Not all the time. But it is worth the effort.