Visit any lifestyle/swinger forum online and you’ll quickly find what feels like a zillion couples talking about how difficult it is to find a single bi woman in the lifestyle. This mystical creature is deemed to be a Unicorn. People see it as rare and frankly, I just don’t get it.

We’ve found single bi women to be everywhere. They're not hard to catch and should be highly respected. Are there as many as couples? No. But there most certainly isn’t a supply chain issue. I’d venture to say these couples just aren’t approaching it right. Which takes me to the point of this article…

A Unicorn is NOT a single bi woman.

Instead, the holy grail of the lifestyle, the mythical creature is actually a couple where BOTH parties are attractive, communicate well, and respect boundaries.

Many couples start in the lifestyle with the thought that they will play together 100% of the time. Once involved even for a short time, these couples realize exactly what I’ve said above is truth. Finding a four-way match is extremely difficult. It happened to us, too, which I didn’t expect.

So, what happens when you can’t find a four-way match? You end up changing your rules. Getting comfortable playing separately. Or you just go without. Both are acceptable options… and can only be dictated by the couple themselves.

The lifestyle is a place to explore. A place to learn what you like and don’t like. To love your partner the way you want to be loved. An opportunity to be the best version of yourself. When you embrace that, you and your partner may just become a mythical Unicorn.

Until then, happy hunting like the rest of us. :)

- Chris

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